Can We Talk?

In a recent editorial page (May 5th) of the Boston Globe, many ladies had much to say in response to previous articles related to women and style choices…one in particular caught my attention, criticizing the French prime minister’s wife and Melania Trump for wearing “spike heels” during a US visit that involved walking on lawns and standing for long ceremonies.

“Is it to please their husbands or is it for their public image?” – How about they wear the high heels to please themselves???  They are women who want to look their best and they know how elegant and beautiful (yes, sexy too) a high heeled pump looks with a dress/skirt.

“It seems the two first ladies think the only way to look fashionable and sexy is to wear 4-6inch heels.” – Wearing a high heeled pump is certainly not the only way to look fashionable and sexy – but – in a formal setting, when men are all wearing suits, it is definitely one of the best options.

“Spike heels have their place with certain outfits, and in certain locations, such as a photo shoot or sitting in a chair.” –  Nonsense!  If your high heel is that uncomfortable you bought the wrong shoe! No shoe should be so uncomfortable that you cannot walk and/or stand a reasonable amount of time.

“…hope the first ladies, as role models, don’t make young women here and in Europe think they have to torture themselves to be attractive.” – OMG. Really??? Why not instead respect these ladies for being a positive role model of how to dress appropriately and elegantly for a formal, serious occasion?

A few more points…

  • Just because an event calls for some time walking on lawn, that doesn’t mean it’s a lawn party! You dress for the occasion, and learn how to walk carefully for the moments on the grass.  Wedge heels would be fine if it were a casual, outdoor wedding, but not the best look with formal attire.
  • You might be thinking, “Why do they need to look sexy?”  This is a gray area where many ladies get wrong.  There is ‘classy understated sexy’, and there is ‘blatant sexy’ (platforms, ankle straps, etc).   The latter would not be ok at a serious/formal event, but the former, if it is part of an elegant ensemble, is perfectly appropriate and a personal choice.
  • Just like there are two kinds of sexy, there are two kinds of comfortable.  When I say in some of my posts that my 4inch pumps are “comfy”, I don’t mean that I wear them to go grocery shopping!  I mean that considering the height, they fit my foot well and don’t pinch in any spots – I can wear them to work, and I could wear them to an event and last all night.
  • It is true, MANY gorgeous high heels are brutally uncomfortable – don’t ever buy them!  Take the time to try different brands until you find the ones that are best for your specific foot shape/size.  It is not about spending hundreds of dollars, either – you can find comfortable heels in various price points.
  • Other options?  Some women may prefer to wear flats. If you do, to avoid looking frumpy I suggest skipping the skirt/dress and going for an elegant pantsuit – a Katherine Hepburn look!

    Pinterest photo




A high block heel is another great option to avoid the heels digging in the grass. This sandal is a flattering, versatile style for a more casual event; you can also find block heels in dressier, closed toe options.


Classic CHANEL slingbacks



A mid-heel option:  These classic two-toned slingbacks are one of my ‘go-to’ shoes for a serious business occasion where I will need to do a significant amount of walking…they were a  splurge, but there are many similar looks in a wide range of prices.



And finally, my ‘comfy’ red suede Manolos as seen in previous posts.  Work equally well for parties or serious occasions.


C’mon ladies!   Can we talk???  Which shoes would YOU want to wear?

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  • When wearing high heels, I prefer a closed toe block heel, rather than a spike. That is a personal choice and may not be for everyone. But you are right Candy, you can find comfortable heels at various price points. Wear what works for you and fits the occasion.

  • “Nonsense! If your high heel is that uncomfortable you bought the wrong shoe! No shoe should be so uncomfortable that you cannot walk and/or stand a reasonable amount of time.” I call BS! Not ALL of us have the foot structure that is necessary to wear heels comfortably. Once, in a discussion, a woman said it was a matter of practicing and getting used to them. I asked her if she thought she could learn to be a Cirque du Soleil performer if she just practiced enough. She got my point.

    • Wow, Rita – in some ways I agree with you: not everyone wears heels comfortably, and wearing them (or not) is certainly a personal choice. Where I respectfully disagree is that high heels are only for sitting/photo shoots, and that they are all uncomfortable. I have wide feet and I have bunions so there are MANY high heels where I could not even take ONE step in. Because I very much appreciate the beauty of a high heel I spend the time on a regular basis to find heels that are comfortable on my foot and I plan on wearing heels well into old age. Thanks for commenting – I like hearing all sides which makes this more fun.

      • I think what I hate about these posts about heels is that you can ONLY ever look really great IF you wear heels! So, I’m always left thinking, am I consigned to frumpdom? :-)

        • Hi Rita,
          This is an interesting comment/question that I want to answer very seriously because my goal is to inspire people to look and feel their best. The answer to your question is no – you are NOT consigned to ‘frumpdom’ if you don’t wear heels, but you might consider making some new choices if you want to look really great. Dress pants with flats can look great. Long, flowy skirts also look great with flats. Depending on the occasion and the season, a short skirt looks very cute with flat boots. So much depends on the length of the skirt, the style of the shoe, and color of the shoe. Nude colored or metallic shoes blend in with skin tones and make your legs look longer. A one inch kitten heel can be a very pretty option with dresses. The bottom line is you can look great without high heels. :-)


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