Regardless of how old we are, we all want to be in a loving relationship. Whether you are 18 or 81 there is a natural desire to be considered attractive and have a romantic partner…..It is nurturing, actually contributes to overall better health, and just makes you feel good – both emotionally and physically…..it even affects your ‘energy’ doing routine daily life activities when you are in a loving relationship.
How about marriage?? Do we all want to be married or is this more a function of age? A recent Harris Poll online survey indicated that 50% of baby boomers still consider marriage ‘very important’, another 25% ‘important’……interesting if you think about the climbing divorce rate and the number of middle aged married people not especially happy. Perhaps this speaks to our feelings about commitment and/or some religious beliefs. So many people just accept a bad marriage, year after year – really, there are always choices: work on it – end it – take a lover! HELLLOOOO???? You think I am condoning infidelity? Not really, certainly NOT the best option….BUT….it really seems much more of a ‘crime’ to waste one’s life in misery….Once you hit 50, one’s mortality becomes clearer and you realize that life really is short – do you really want to live your life without love – without someone that truly wants to be with you and thinks you are great? Just sayin’………
My parents had a wonderful marriage (not without their share of challenges) based on common traditional values. She ran the household, he worked, and they had a strong social network in the Armenian community…..Ginger was definitely considered “high maintenance” but my dad was easy going and it made him happy to see her happy…..as for me, I am in marriage #2 (see blog post “Reflection”) and happier than ever. Getting married in my middle years was not important to me, but going on four years later, I am without a doubt thrilled to be “Mrs. Costas”. I certainly do not pretend to be an expert on this subject, but here are some lessons learned through the years:
– Nothing gets better without putting in effort and energy. Continue to go on dates with your spouse!
– Look for everyday reasons to celebrate each other – don’t wait for birthdays to light a few candles….
– Always make an effort to look your best (you knew that was coming, right?).
– Exercise together – double benefit, you stay in shape, while doing something together.
– Support each others interests/hobbies. Maybe try a new one….
– Socialize with other happy couples!
– Schedule sex. Sounds unromantic, but better than no sex!!
When I met Peter in 2003, he was not a dancer, yet I loved to dance – now he is a blast on the dance floor….he was an avid skier, I had not skied since my twenties – now I can do expert trails and also have cool ski clothes!….I had never thrown a football in my life – he taught me how to throw a spiral and we regularly play on every beach vacation….thus the football wedding favor!
OK LADIES – let’s hear from YOU……thoughts on love and marriage?????